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Dating Violence

Dating violence is controlling, abusive, and/or aggressive behavior in a romantic relationship.

It can happen in straight or gay relationships. It can include verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, or a combination.

Controlling behavior may include:

• Not letting you hang out with your friends
• Calling or paging you frequently to find out where you are, whom you're with,
  and what you're doing
• Telling you what to wear
• Having to be with you all the time

Verbal and emotional abuse may include:

• Calling you names
• Jealousy
• Belittling you (cutting you down)
• Threatening to hurt you, someone in your family, or himself or herself if you don't
  do what he or she wants

Physical abuse may include:

• Shoving
• Punching
• Slapping
• Pinching
• Hitting
• Kicking
• Hair pulling
• Strangling

Sexual abuse may include:

• Unwanted touching and kissing
• Forcing you to have sex
• Not letting you use birth control
• Forcing you to do other sexual things

Dater's Bill of Rights

• You have the right to refuse a date without feeling guilty.
• You can ask for a date without feeling rejected or inadequate if the answer is no.
• You may choose not to act seductively.
• If you don't want physical closeness, you have the right to say no.
• You have the right to be yourself without changing to suit others.
• You have the right to change a relationship when your feelings change.
• You can say, "We used to be close, but now I want something else."
• If you are told a relationship is changing you have the right not to blame or change yourself to keep it going.
• You have the right to an equal relationship.
• You have the right not to dominate or to be dominated.
• You have the right to act one way with one person and a different way with someone else.
• You have the right to change your goals whenever you want to.
• You have the right to stop physical intimacy whenever you feel ready to stop.
• You have the right to want physical affection without choosing to have sexual intercourse.

Sources:

Dating Violence Resource Center
National Center for Victims of Crime

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